


Turn Away

by danversaddict



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Heavy Angst, I'm Sorry, Inspired by Music, One Shot, Sad Ending, Short, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 06:36:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15989708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danversaddict/pseuds/danversaddict
Summary: "I will not kiss you, 'cause the hardest part of this is leaving you."





	Turn Away

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the My Chemical Romance song of the same title. This was written a while ago and edited a bit.

Carmilla pressed a gentle kiss to her girlfriend's recently shaved head, holding the fragile girl in her arms as if she'd shatter with the slightest touch. Laura looked up to meet her warm brown gaze. "This isn't fair to you," she mumbled, yet another wave of guilt settling at the pit of her stomach. She was insecure enough as it was, she didn't want Carm to see her without a wig or a hat, or something to cover up the preparation for the side effects of chemo. She'd also tried to reason with the raven-haired girl, get her to leave so she wouldn't have to go through seeing her like this. Nothing could get Carmilla to let Laura go, and Laura was grateful for her determination somewhere deep down in her heart.

Carmilla simply shook her head in response, ghosting her fingers over Laura's arms as she shifted to be able to see her face. The younger girl had dark circles under her eyes and horrible bruises forming all over her body, not to mention the pain that came with them. She pretended she was okay for Carmilla's sake, of course, but it didn't have her fooled for a second.

Reaching up, Carm gently trailed her thumb down the length of Laura's unusually prominent jawbone, her hand coming to rest against her girlfriend's neck. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cracked, faded pale lips. Nothing in the world could change the way she felt about the girl in front of her, not even this demon known as cancer that she knew Laura could slay. "Life isn't fair, cupcake. That doesn't mean it's not worth living," Carmilla said in her low, quiet voice. As she spoke, she was lowering her head to give her girlfriend another kiss, but the brunette turned her head.

"Stop getting attached! It's only going to hurt more when I end up dying," Laura whined. "You shouldn't be here, you should be out enjoying your life, and-" her outburst was cut short by a coughing fit, and Carmilla rubbed circles against her lower back until it had run its course.

"You are my life, Laura. You know that. Nothing you say is going to make me think otherwise."  
Laura didn't speak for a solid minute after that, the two sitting in a comfortable silence.

"Would you marry me?"  
The unexpected question caught Laura off guard, and she would've fallen off the sofa if not for Carmilla's arms around her.

"Carm, you know I'm sick. I won't live long enough to."

"That's not what I'm asking. I'm saying, would you?"

Laura smiled softly. "Of course. If the situation was different, it'd be a yes without a doubt."  
Carmilla reached into her pocket for something, and Laura froze. Her self-defensive walls immediately went up, jaw tensing and face devoid of any emotion. "Carm-"

"Relax. Just humor me." Carmilla pulled her hand out of her pocket, displaying an elegantly designed gold engagement ring with _aeternum_ carved on the side. "May I?"

Laura hesitantly gave Carmilla her hand, and she slid the ring on her finger.

"I love you. And I will for the rest of my existence, that's a promise. I know you'll make it through this, cupcake. You're the strongest person I've met in centuries and not even this is going to stop you." Carmilla kissed her hand and let it go, then kissing her girlfriend's lips again. Laura didn't put up any resistance this time, melting into the vampire's touch and hugging her as tightly as she possibly could.

"I love you too. But one question."

"Hmm?"

"What does it mean?" Laura asked, referring to the Latin word on the ring.

Carm smiled to herself. "Forever."

  
Forever wasn't nearly long enough. Laura Eileen Hollis passed away at the age of 19 on the 24th of December, the same day the doctors were going to let her go home for Christmas because she'd remissed.

The only consoling thought Carmilla had regarding this was that she'd died in her sleep, and most likely wasn't in pain. She kept this in mind as she held back tears at the funeral, and again as she prepared to make the speech she'd been asked to. The tough, broody vampire barely made it through without crying, the dull ache in her chest making it excessively difficult.

"I'm sorry," Carmilla managed to say quietly to Laura's father as the service came to an end. He seemed confused.

"This isn't something you could control, it wasn't your fault."

"I couldn't protect her."

She turned to the freshly dug grave, laying a red rose on the mound of dirt. Before Laura's dad could say anything else, she left. She figured he needed some time alone to process everything, and she silently promised she'd visit Laura every day. Tears streamed down her face as she finally let them go in the car. She cursed everything including the sun for mocking the mood of the day's events. She swore she felt a hand resting on hers, making her relax her grip on the steering wheel. It was what Laura always did when she got angry, claiming that the vampire needed to 'calm down before you break the car'. The memory left a ghost of a smile on Carmilla's lips as she drove out of the cemetery, returning home to a now half empty house. As she climbed into their- no, her- bed, she shut her eyes tightly and imagined that Laura was still beside her. It was the only thing that let her eventually fall asleep, and she dreamt of a happier time. A small smile found its way on to her peaceful features.

"Forever."


End file.
